I’m starting this blog – finally – after thinking about it for months, maybe even longer. Why should I blog? What do I have to offer? I’m not an expert, am I? Well, I do have detailed, intimate knowledge of what it was like to grow up adopted. Even though I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, I think what I thought and felt might be similar to what adopted kids think and feel today. I’m also a mom-by-adoption so I understand some of the challenges that parenting adopted kids brings. My birth mom found me when I was a young adult, so I have many years of experience in building relationships with her family that many adoptees have not had.
While I may be an expert on my own experiences, I am very aware that other adoptees and adoptive parents (and birth patents) could have wildly different thoughts, feelings and experiences regarding adoption, but that’s not just okay – it’s a good thing. I hope this blog will include those other perspectives because it will make it far more useful to the people I’m writing for.
Who am I writing for and why? That’s one of the questions I’ve wrestled with for quite a while. In searching my heart and asking God for guidance, I realized that, just as I have loved working with kids at and through my church for many years, the people I most want to help are kids growing up adopted. I don’t seriously expect that the kids will read my blog, but I do hope their parents will read it and gain insight into what their kids might need to talk about.
Adopted kids grow into adopted teens and young adults. I know well that gut-deep longing to make a connection to people who look like you. This blog may be helpful for young adults who are eager to Search or be searched for by their bio-families to understand some of the things to expect when they make a connection with their biological relatives as I did. Perhaps it will be of use to adults who suddenly discover they have a grandchild, sister or cousin they didn’t know about.
I often used to bewail the fact that “There is no etiquette guide” for adoptees making connection with their original families. When people would tell me to write one, it seemed audacious and arrogant for me to think I could. Now that I’m older, maybe I do have some wisdom to offer.
One last thing. The reason for the title of this post? I’m doing the video series by Louie Giglio, “Goliath Must Fall,” and the chapter on the giant of comfort prodded me to “press on” into what God is calling me to do for people He loves.
“Not that I have already obtained it [this goal of being Christlike] or have already been made perfect, but I actively press on so that I may take hold of that [perfection] for which Christ Jesus took hold of me and made me His own. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [heavenly] prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
PHILIPPIANS 3:12-14 AMP